Life Group Study - September 27th, 2026

1) WHAT HAVE I ALLOWED TO DEFINE ME?

Read: John 15:9–11

Brief Context: Before Jesus tells His disciples what to do, He tells them what is already true: They are loved.  Jesus begins with identity before activity.

Say:  Labels aren't always bad. Single. Married. Divorced. Widowed. The danger comes when something meant to describe part of our life begins defining the meaning and value of our life.

Ask: When have you allowed a relationship—or lack of one—to affect how valuable you felt? What labels besides relationship status are you tempted to build your identity around? Career? Parenting? Achievement? Appearance? Ministry? Approval? Why is it easier to believe “Jesus loves me” intellectually than to actually build our identity around His love? What are you asking another person to give you that only Jesus can give? How might a marriage become unhealthy when one person expects the other to provide identity, security, worth, or constant happiness?

2) HAVE WE MADE MARRIAGE CARRY TOO MUCH?

Read: John 15:11–12

Brief Context: Jesus promises complete joy, but He doesn't locate that joy in finding another person. He locates it in remaining in Him. That doesn't make marriage unimportant or the desire for marriage wrong. It simply means no human relationship was designed to carry the deepest weight of our souls.

Say: “You complete me” sounds romantic. But it's an impossible job description.

Ask: What did you once believe marriage would fix? For married people: What did marriage reveal about you rather than repair in you? For singles: Where are you tempted to imagine that life will finally begin once your relationship status changes? How can we honor a genuine desire for marriage without turning marriage into an idol?Can someone be deeply content in Christ and still deeply desire marriage? What might that look like? Where have you postponed joy because life doesn't currently look the way you expected?

3) WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS YOUR SOUL?

Read: John 15:12–15

Brief Context Jesus moves immediately from “remain in My love” to “love each other.” Fullness in Christ does not mean becoming so spiritually independent that we no longer need people. Jesus calls His disciples friends.

Say: One of the things the church needs to recover is spiritual friendship: Relationships where people help each other pay attention to God and care for each other's souls.

Ask: Think about your closest friendships. Are they primarily built around activities, or does anyone actually know your soul? Who knows when something is off with you without you having to explain everything? Who can tell you something you don't want to hear—and you trust them enough to listen? Who knows specifically how to pray for you? Who stays when your life becomes inconvenient? For married people: Have you unintentionally expected your spouse to meet nearly every relational need in your life? How could married people become better friends to single people without treating singles like projects to fix or people to match up? For singles: What kind of community would make the church feel more like family rather than a waiting room for marriage?

4) AM I WAITING TO BECOME FRUITFUL?

Read: John 15:16

Brief Context: Jesus doesn't tell His disciples: “When your circumstances are finally right, then I'll use you.” He tells them: “I chose you and appointed you…to bear fruit—fruit that will last.”

Say:  We often measure a successful life by whether it follows the expected script: Education. Career. Marriage. House. Children. Jesus gives us another measurement: Fruit that lasts.

Ask: What “picture” of a successful life did you grow up believing you needed to achieve? Where did that picture come from—family, culture, church, social media, yourself? What happens spiritually when our actual life doesn't match that picture? Have you ever treated a season as a waiting room instead of somewhere God could use you? What opportunities might singleness uniquely create for ministry, relationships, generosity, service, or discipleship?What opportunities might marriage uniquely create? Who is becoming more like Jesus because your life is touching theirs?

Reference Scriptures: Isaiah 43:1–4, Psalm 16:5–11, Matthew 19:10–12, 1 Corinthians 12:12–27, Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 27:17, Hebrews 10:24–25, 2 Timothy 2:1–2